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Saturday, January 30, 2016


Faces of Breast Cancer

     
If you live with breast cancer, love someone with breast cancer or worry about your risk for breast cancer, you are part of a global community of women and men whose lives have been touched by the disease. We asked our readers to share insights from their experiences with breast cancer. Browse their stories to find people like you and join the conversation.

Viewing 5 discussions

CAREER
81 COMMENTS

How did breast cancer affect your career?

Ailsa from New York, N.Y.
I was exhausted and confused ("chemo brain") during my two years of treatment and operations, and it took quite a while to recover my energy. The chemo had a lasting impact on my short-term memory, and that is the main thing that now affects my ability to function at work (and in life in general).
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MEM from Rumson, N.J.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 33. To say this diagnosis was initially devastating is an understatement. It took me two years to complete "the process" of treatment and fully recovering. Prior to this crisis I'd never been a patient. I was amazed to find how important the nurses who cared for me were in my recovery. The impact of that care went way beyond what I had ever imagined. The impact of a cancer diagnosis and all that came with it changed my priorities and what I wanted out of life. Being fully recovered was like opening the cover of a new book that would be the rest of my life. I had an overwhelming urge to pay it forward. That initially devastating event influenced me to make changes in my career. I am now an oncology nurse and administration of chemotherapy is my specialty. I left behind a career in sales in Manhattan. I could never have imagined being as challenged and fulfilled as I am today. I am amazed by my patients every single day. It's funny how something that was initially so devastating was the catalyst for change that brought me here. For this I am very thankful.
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Lisa S from Miami, Fla.
I was a special education teacher in the NYC school system when I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in 2009.
At the time, I was an out-of-classroom coordinator, so I had little to no exposure to the students and was able to continue working after my mastectomy and during radiation and chemotherapy treatments. I was also fortunate to accumulate "sick days" and was paid for all necessary time off.
In 2010, due to budget cuts, I was informed that my position as coordinator would be eliminated and I would be reassigned to a classroom position. The students were all special needs, with severe emotional deficits, often experiencing violent outbursts. I felt it necessary to retire early and forfeit my full pension, as I was not strong enough physically to handle the demands of the profession.
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Judith T from Austin, Tex.
I am a prekindergarten teacher. One-third of my class is refugee children, recently arrived from countries like Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan or Asia. My school depends on me to teach them how to speak English and to recognize, assess and help the school decide who needs special assistance. I was diagnosed with breast cancer just before the school year started. I had a large class that I could handle by myself.
During the six weeks of recovery from a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction, they put a substitute teacher, a special education teacher and an aide in my classroom. Three people. I am so glad that they are taking care of things while I am gone but I know that I will continue to be out of the classroom for chemotherapy and radiation, treatments that will run until the end of the school year.
I cannot help feel guilty at times that I have had to purposefully push my ethical responsibilities to my career, to my colleagues and to these four year-olds out of my mind.
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Teri C. from Tallahassee, Fla.
I took early retirement at the age of 56, and enjoyed two years of travel and adventure. A surprise breast cancer diagnosis from a routine mammogram stopped me cold. For the next year, my new job would be Breast Cancer Patient—relentless research, an endless round of doctor’s visits, a barrage of tests, a series of surgeries, and an infusion needle stuck in my sore arm every three weeks.
I was lucky, they caught it early, but that didn’t spare me from the ravages of chemotherapy or the trauma of mastectomy and reconstruction. I don’t know how I could have gotten through this past year if I had to think about a job or career or insurance coverage.
One of the greatest lessons I learned is just how HARD it is to have cancer. It gave me much more empathy for anyone going through this. Everyone rallies around the newly diagnosed patient, but the enthusiasm soon wears off. Even 12 weeks of unpaid leave afforded to some by Federal law is insufficient. I am thankful that I was retired with resources. Few enjoy that luxury.
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Julia B from Wichita, Kan.
As soon as I got my diagnosis I knew I didn't need the stress from work if I was going to beat it, I was a systems analyst, I told my boss this and it was no problem.
I had invasive ductal carcinoma stage 1/2 extremely estrogen feed and aggressive they said i would die in 6 months if not treated.
I hit it hard: surgery, chemo, radiation, tamoxifen eventually it shut down my heart and I almost died. I asked for more time off to stabilize my condition and they laid me off.
Later I learned I had several options available but they did not tell me about them, I believe they just wanted to get rid of me. Treatment left me with multiple side effects, worst of these being neuropathy, fatigue and pain.
I decided to retire and live on disability luckily I had insurance coverage to help me be in a better position to do this. I'm doing ok now, beat cancer but heart conditon will be with me for life. I have finally settled somewhat with my new normal, still struggle with depression and anxiety am getting help with this as needed. Cancer brought my career to screeching halt after 25+ yrs.
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Maimah Karmo - Breast Cancer Survivor, Global Health Advocate and President of Tigerlily Foundation from Washington, D.C.
On February 28, 2006, at 4:45 p.m., I was diagnosed with Stage 2 triple negative breast cancer.
I had no family history of breast cancer; and was only 32-years old. While undergoing my second round of chemotherapy, I made a promise to God that if I survived, I would create an organization to educate, empower, advocate for and support young women affected by breast cancer. After my second treatment, Tigerlily Foundation was born.
Beginning in chemotherapy, I grew the concept into a national 501-c3 organization with more than 300 volunteers nationwide - providing breast health, wellness and transformational programs to young women in more than 43 states.
Today, months away from my 10-year anniversary, I can say that this career decision to help other women has given my life purpose and meaning I never knew was possible.
Although having breast cancer was one of the hardest challenges to overcome in my life, I found an inner strength that has helped me to educate over 230,000 women about their risks of breast cancer and raise almost $1M to help support those undergoing treatment.
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Steve S from Smithfield, R.I.
I met a woman this year, and instantly I liked her, I knew she was special. We started seeing each other and soon after she brought me to a Gloria Gemma event where she told me she was a survivor. I remember kissing her when she told me but I really didn’t know what it meant to be a survivor. I never knew anyone that had breast cancer.
As time passed she became more comfortable and told me about her experience, and how she was afraid see was going to die.
I’m not someone that falls in love very easily. And not the type of person to show my feelings, but that changed. I told her I loved her every time we were together and through the little things, whether it was bringing or sending flowers, a car full of balloons, getting dressed up for dinner at home, sending videos to her of me dancing or my BC ribbon tattoo….I wasn’t going to be scared of looking silly or being rejected….
For those that have someone in their lives dealing with breast cancer be fearless in your love, be passionate and show it every day. Finding ways to make someone smile and letting them know how you feel and how special they are means everything.
Aurora I love you with my heart and soul, endlessly.
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beth s. from scarsdale, N.Y.
Breast cancer changed my life in a positive way as well. Following my lumpectomy in 2008 I was terrified of radiation and its possible side effects. I have no idea what prompted me, but immediately following my initial meeting with the radiation doctor, I went home and fashioned a cushioned sling to protect my skin from the radiation burns beneath my breast. The results were surprisingly positive: by the end of the radiation therapy I had some discoloration beneath my breast - but no raw skin and no burns at all. Granted, skin types and reactions vary, but I believe the sling played a very important role in protecting my skin. My doctors agreed and encouraged me to bring the slings to market.
Marketing and selling was completely out of my previous realm of experience, but I have now begun an entirely new venture producing slings for large-breasted women undergoing radiation therapy for breast cancer - as well as slings for all large-breasted women who suffer from so many under-breast problems stemming from moisture and perspiration. My life has taken a new direction which is very exciting. And - I have been cancer-free for eight years!
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Rachael Yahne HerAfter.com from New York, N.Y.
Today, it is my life's work to show women how beautiful, whole, and capable of peace and happiness despite cancer or any of life's big struggles. Through my site HerAfter.com, I work to show women that regardless of emotional or physical scars, she is perfect and gorgeous beyond words. My personal cancer was not breast cancer, but many of my readers are breast cancer survivors, and send me letters of their survival stories. We are united not just in our struggle, but in our appreciation for life, and in our humanness - our courage to be happy despite our vulnerability.
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E. Huey from Seattle, Wash.
Helga, I am truly happy that there are good, supportive employers in Seattle. Unfortunately, I do not share your experience. I was the Director of Information Management at mutual fund. I feel like I was fooled; when I received my diagnosis I received much support. In the days leading to my operation, they gave me charms to symbolize hope and health and courage. I returned to work after 3 weeks with my drainage bags still attached. I scheduled my 6 months of chemo so I received treatment on a Friday, could 'recover' over Saturday and Sunday and return to work on Monday. That was another 11 days off from work. Then suddenly, for no reason, the company turned against me and made my life a living hell. They accused me of taking too much time off from work and my manager was out of her mind. She once threw a phone at me and it was not a cell phone. There was more and more verbal abuse. This company became my Amazon. I left after 7 years.
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Helga B from Seattle, Wash.
These stories are really surprising to me. I must be incredibly naive because I was under the impression this type of employment discrimination was illegal. My own work experiences were so positive. I have always felt I was fortunate to have had such understanding employers, but after reading these stories, I am more grateful than ever. When I was diagnosed with my first breast cancer, I had a very active job in advertising that involved a lot of travel. I was allowed to create my own schedule based on how I was feeling. I was given one week off each month while I was undergoing intensive chemo -- if needed -- and I took them all. When I was scheduled for a long trip (more than 4 days) I asked for back-up in case I needed to leave or hole up in the hotel for a day or so. When I was working in town, my colleagues brought me homemade casseroles or take-out food so I wouldn't need to cook. (Most went straight to the freezer -- I couldn't eat.)
My second breast cancer was about 12 years later, I was a divorced mom working part-time as a book editor. My part-time status didn't allow me to receive health insurance and I was terrified. I told The Chief my story and he went out of his way to not only get me fully insured, but to stagger my hours as needed and work occasionally from home. Having cancer is never fun but I have to say, I met some of the nicest, most compassionate people in the world while I was being treated. I think we need to have a little Breast Cancer Awareness that informs others about those who did not share my good luck. There are few stories like mine, I know, but some of these tales are horrifying. My heart goes out to you all.
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Cindy L from New York, N.Y.
In 2004 I went for my annual mammogram and assuming all was well (as it had been since I started going at age 35) I started to get dressed when my Dr. came in and said something was wrong. I went back for a sonogram and the next day I went for a stereotactic biopsy which showed I had LCIS w/radial scar in my right breast - a week later I had wide excision surgery and after 5 days went back to work. Saw a famous oncologist who strongly suggested I use Tamoxifen but my surgeon didn't think I needed the medication, and I trust her so, no Tamoxifen.
A year later I had a recurrence in my left breast. I had the same surgery and since 2005 my Mammo-Sonos have been good. Let's hope it remains so. My career was not affected just my life. It's a startling thing. One cannot ever stress enough the need for mammograms. I am 67 - I started at 35.
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HB from BERKELEY, Calif.
Sadly, cancer eventually ended my career - work that I loved and was my mission in life. My supervisor got tired of working around my on/off work schedule to accommodate treatments and post-treatment fatigue. I wasn't fired; I just wasn't given any assignments - a tacit conclusion. Because my work is an important and essential part of me, had to find a way to continue working in the field. So, I now do my work as a volunteer.
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BarbF from Naples, Fla.
I was a talent agent in Los Angeles, and I got fired so I had to move to Florida.
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Anne from san francisco
I was diagnosed at age 53 with stage 2 breast cancer, underwent a lumpectomy then a mastectomy with reconstruction. Then chemo for three months. I was obliterated physically and emotionally. I had not worked for over a year and then accepted a position that I left after six months. I had incredible support from doctors and friends. The following year my husband of 34 years left me, he had never looked at me the same way after the mastectomy. It totally changed every part of my life.
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Anais P from Tex.
When I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer, I was a full professor at an unfortunately lower tier university. When, two and a half years later, I entered mediation through the EEOC, the university's lawyer thanked me for the brilliant and creative things I had done for the university. That was not at all how my department viewed me, and they started their overt attack on my directorship of a cognitive science center while I was undergoing radiation. I most regret that another woman is now on the receiving end of attacks I used to get.
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Leah Gabardine Cabrera from Manila, Philippines
I had mastectomy December, 2014 and was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 2A. I had to file a leave of six months with pay, thank God, everything was providential.
Many relatives and friends prayed and helped me financially. Thank to God, I was able to survive the 6 chemo sessions (every 3 weeks) which started last January. Now I'm taking my maintenance medicine but I will have series of tests this August 2015.
Last June, I went back to work, though after two weeks my body was adjusting to the weather and the long travel going home. Slowly, I am trying to get back to my usual routine, thanks to the prayers of my family, relatives and friends.
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Kellen from Chico, Calif.
I was a hospice nurse for 14 years. Because of severe chronic neuropathic pain I am unable to work. My cancer was 16 years ago. I left my job last November.
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jackie from cleveland ohio, Ohio
Is your neuropathy related to your cancer treatments? I slowed down when I was diagnosed 15 years ago and did a lot of traveling and didn't save so I am kind of broke now, but alive.
Jane E. from Cleveland, Ohio
Breast cancer changed my career completely and in wonderful ways. I was diagnosed at age 37 with breast cancer and given a 35 percent chance of living five years. That was almost 27 years ago.
During cancer treatment, I learned and practiced guided imagery and other mind/body modalities to deal with the side effects of chemotherapy, as well as the anxiety and stress related to a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Using mind/body modalities helped me stop treatment side effects and realize that I had within myself courage, inner strength, sense of humor and healing energy to be well again. It was a lot of work and well worth it.
As other patients saw my positive changes and asked me for help. I knew then I wanted to go to graduate school to be trained to help others learn how to tap into their ability to deal with adversity and be well in every way possible. Now, I teach and counsel people with cancer and other serious illness, to explore and live from their inner resources for their best life possible. I also create and publish guided meditations for healing and wellness. I learned that the most devastating experience was my best teacher and the doorway to new ways of living and being.
It may sound strange, but for me, cancer was a gift. My heart goes out to those of you who are in a very different and painful place on your life journey.
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R.K. from Green Bay, Wis.
Breast cancer destroyed my career as executive director of a small local community activist organization. It's been 7 years since my treatment ended, but I still struggle with fatigue and chemobrain problems that make it impossible to multi-task, organize, stay on track and be on time. In my first year after treatment, before I understood what had happened to me, I lost most of my supporters and friends due to my irritability, frustration and lack of productivity. I was overwhelmed and lost. I remembered everything about how I used to do my job, but couldn't seem to handle doing it anymore. I couldn't put it all together anymore, even when I knew exactly what I needed to do.
Doctors have been demoralizing. They don't believe chemobrain is real and for years they all blamed my symptoms on menopause and "normal aging." Their only focus was to offer reassurance, belittle my fears and push me out the door. I'm having to research and pursue my own rehabilitation now despite them. They could have helped from the beginning and saved me from myself, but they didn't care.
The financial and emotional costs have been devastating. Some days I think fate would have been kinder if it had let me die of my cancer seven years ago, before I learned everything I know now about the ugly side of human nature.
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E. Huey from Seattle, Wash.
I can completely sympathize; it wasn't cancer but the side effects of chemo that actually did eventually end my career. From systemic arthritis, to simultaneous carpal tunnel in each arm to fibromyalgia. Put chemo brain with fibro brain and you get - me, unemployed and considering disability. Have you tried alternative therapies? Some work for me and some do not. I do hope you have a good support community. Wishing you the best.
Jodi B from portland, Ore.
I totally hear you. Then there are those who pretty much have figured out it's your bad attitude that is responsible for the pain and "everything happens for a reason." It effectively isolates you from most people in the general population. Thanks for stepping up and being honest.
MRL from Md.
For many years the existence of chemo brain was controversial - those days are over (not everyone has gotten the message yet!). Research has proven that chemotherapy alters brain structure in ways apparent on MRI, in addition to countless patient stories. Speech therapists have many years treated cognitive impairments related to stroke, TBI and the like. These same cognitive rehabilitation strategies and techniques can work for chemo brain. Ask your doctor (any doctor) for an order for speech therapy for cognitive impairment. Best of luck.
Harleymom from Adirondacks, N.Y.
I had just published a book of short fiction after I was diagnosed. I had a partial mastectomy, dose-dense chemo and radiation.
I had landed a neat teaching gig and some bookstore readings as a result of the book's publication, and I had to ditch it all. I did keep one short job teaching writing in a men's prison on the condition that there were some days I just couldn't make it.
That little job saved my bacon. I went bald during the course of the class, and those prisoners were more compassionate than most of my friends. I got a good essay about it, too. Still, my writing career tanked at that point, as much my own fault as the bad luck of getting breast cancer. I had such wicked chemo brain that I went back to graduate school to become a therapist, just to prove that I still had a brain.
I like being a therapist, but I do feel robbed of that moment when my writing seemed to be taking off. No pity-party for me, though. I'm starting to write again, differently, and I allow myself credit as long as I do whatever best I can.
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Layla L from St Johns Park NSW, Australia
Oh my Dear God!
My breast cancer diagnosis Feb. 3, 2015 led my employer to advise me on Feb. 16, 2015, that it would be in my best interests to resign, do the surgery, get the treatment, then with doctors clearance , come back and give 150 percent.
The shocking irony is that I work for a disability employment service. This isn't quite the loyalty I expected from my employer of 8 years. I refused to resign and now am "in limbo" not earning a wage, nor do I qualify for government payment to support myself. Just because I have stopped earning an income, it doesn't mean that my rent and bills will stop!
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Carmen G from Seattle, Wash.
As my manager put it, cancer was bad for my career. I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer right before Christmas in 2011. I had surgery right away and then chemo and radiation all through August of 2012. Treatment spanned two performance review years and I got bad reviews for not producing as much as my coworkers while on reduced schedule. The third year I got an even worse review "because I had shown a downward trend in the previous two years." Microsoft is unkind to women with breast cancer.
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Incognito from
I, too, was silent about it.
At the time, when I was 49, I was doing freelance consulting in international development. I just did not work during the time that I was having surgery and radiation. I knew that some potential employers might be reluctant to send me overseas. A few weeks after my treatment ended, I started a long-term assignment overseas. I was tired a lot at first, but gradually got stronger. Eleven years later, I am still working overseas.
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Sandra G from Arnold, Md.
In 2013, I attended several hospital seminars when I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. The women I met had Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. We told our stories in several round table discussions. Their courage and determination to survive inspired and launched me into a new career.
I began Leslie's Week, a nonprofit that sends Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer women and their families on fully-paid one-week vacations. This year, five families go to the Great Smoky Mts. One family goes to the B Ocean Hotel in Ft. Lauderdale. The owner of B donated this experience to a woman who is terminal.
These women changed my entire life as I listened to their stories of financial stress, their fears of leaving their children behind, their unrealized dreams, and their unfinished lives. Our tears as we shared our stories created a path for other women who will now share memories with their families that outlast cancer.
Leslie's Week is a 2015 honoree of the one hundred every day amazing individuals and groups. This award is created and supported by the Mass. General Cancer Center. I tell you this to demonstrate what is possible through inspiration and determination.
My cancer was small; their cancer was large. These women changed my life and the lives of those who will have this opportunity to spend a cancer-free week with their family.
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Ashley Varner from Annapolis, MD, Md.
My name is Ashley Varner, and I'm the Manager of Psychosocial Oncology at Anne Arundel Medical Center, one of the hospital's that benefits from this amazing Leslie's Week program. Thank you to Sandra G. and the amazing women that have taught me so much!
Mary from Jacksonville, Fla.
After three successful years in a small firm, the day the managing partner learned from his partner that I had cancer he came to my office and told me that my last say was at the end of the week. He did wish me luck with "that cancer thing." He is married to a doctor...He knew.
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Eliana from Tampa, Fla.
I worked as a solo-practitioner (criminal defense lawyer) for almost 30 years before my diagnosis at age 55. When I first got sick, I had to close my law practice and give away my active cases. When I finished all of my treatments, I was exhausted, my memory was impaired and I had terrible sweating and joint pain. I couldn't be a trial lawyer anymore and I couldn't start all over to rebuild a practice from nothing. Instead, I filed a claim with my private disability insurer against a very expensive disability policy I had purchased 25 years earlier. My monthly claims have been paid ever since and I was comfortably able to retire on disability at 55. I feel very, very fortunate that I had continued to pay for the policy all those many years that I didn't need it. It was a great investment, as it turned out, and I am very happy with my circumstances now.
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Hina Shahid from Karachi, Pakistan
Hi Eliana,
My mom is diagnosed with cancer. The word itself is really horrifying. I wanted to know how you went through the process. And are you perfectly fine now?
Uzma from Glenview
Being a physician myself, I had the experience of being on the other side. It helped me develop a better understanding of struggles of having a chronic illness. I am more patient and more open as a person and a physician. It was humbling to give up control of my treatment. I understand hope more now than I ever did before.
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Maria J from Madrid, Spain
I used to work in the cinema industry. After more than a year with chemo and another medical treatments most of my colleagues forgot me so now I work in a different area. Never was I called to work in a movie after cancer.
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Olga from Pleasantville, N.Y.
My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer three weeks ago and is struggling to decide to reconstruct after a double mastectomy. I know she will be so scared and depressed if she doesn't, but it's her decision. She's more scared of a longer surgery and more procedures than dying of cancer.
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Linda B. from Santa Fe, N.M.
After my mastectomy I had tissue stretching and then a saline implant. This did not make a natural looking breast, but did give me enough contour so that I could wear a prothesis and did not have to severely limit my clothing neckline choices. This procedure let me avoid the tissue damage that would have come from a complete reconstruction. Very satisfying result for me. My best wishes to your mom....
ATA from Albuquerque, N.M.
I am a mom of three daughters and I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer last November and had a mastectomy three weeks later. My teenage daughters were frightened and also wanted to be supportive. There was very little time for me to consider options. My surgeon works with a plastic surgeon and she recommended that I have a tissue expander placed immediately after the mastectomy procedure. I was frightened about the length of the surgery but had confidence in my surgeons. I can tell you that the tissue expanders made a huge difference, psychologically.
I would encourage your mom to seek more information from her surgeon. Now, six months after my diagnosis, I am glad I followed the gentle encouragement of my surgeon. Keep telling your mom that you love her!
Hina Shahid from Karachi, Pakistan
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 days back. I know the treatment is not easy to go through, but it is really essential. There are cancer survivors and we need to look on those stories and encourage our moms to go get the treatment in order to get back to normal life
SusieM from Oakland, Calif.
I was diagnosed with IDC (stage 1A) in 2013 at age 64. I worked (and continue to work) for a software startup full of smart, young, healthy people. I worked from home part time throughout treatment -- 20 weeks of chemo and 5 weeks of radiation. My company was amazingly accommodating. They kept me on the payroll and eligible for insurance for the entire time I was partially disabled by treatment.
The problems I encountered when I returned were the result of chemo brain. I'm not as fast as I used to be, not as sharp, and I have to work harder to compensate and to perform at a level that meets my own expectations. Coupled with chemo-induced fatigue, I find that I'm tired all the time.
The net of it is that I will retire this year, at least a year early, and although I expect to miss the intellectual stimulation of both the people and the work, I don't think that I will regret it.
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Carmen from Seattle, Wash.
You don't need to retire: effects of chemo brain wear off in six months to a year. I am a software engineer and after chemo I stared at the computer screen trying hard to focus. A year later I was already my old self again