Happy Thanksgiving from Susan

  Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! I love this holiday! Always filled with family, good stories, good food and very good times. I...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Navigating Cancer: Survivor guides others in their journeys

www.newsleader.com

October 30, 2010
Navigating Cancer: Survivor guides others in their journeys

Dee Ryan grabbed the cord and rang the bell in the hallway of Augusta Health's Cancer Center on Thursday.
Ryan, 63, a Verona great-grandmother, just completed treatment for her second bout with breast cancer.
"Today was my last day ... of radiation. I'm done with everything," Ryan said. "I'm glad it's over and done with. I'm just gonna look forward to getting better and going on with my life."
The bell is an important symbol of victory for patients.
"It's a bell that patients can ring when they are finished with treatment," said Meg Shrader, 50, a registered nurse and cancer survivor. "They can celebrate feeling really good."
Shrader's official title at the hospital is "Breast Navigator." Her job is to meet patients recently diagnosed with breast cancer to offer guidance and support during treatment.
Ryan's second bout with breast cancer brought her first experience with chemotherapy. She was scared, but Shrader, whom she calls a "sweetheart," kept in constant touch with her, and told her what to expect, including hair loss and other side effects of treatment.
"She went out of her way to be nice to be and tell me what to expect and be prepared for it," Ryan said.


The Battle
When Shrader herself was diagnosed with breast cancer on April Fools' Day in 2005, she said she was as terrified as anyone.
"As I was going through this, I knew just enough to make myself crazy," Shrader said.
"The hardest part, I think, for people that are going through it ... there's kind of a gathering of information. There's pieces of the puzzle that we don't have until the surgery."
For Shrader, treatment meant a mastectomy — a full removal of her breast — then a summer of chemotherapy, followed by a second mastectomy.
In the time between her mastectomies and breast reconstruction surgeries, she said she saw her body differently. She felt it had betrayed her.
"Once I had my prosthetic in, no one knew, but it's very hard when you look in the mirror and you really haven't seen your ribs in a really long time. It's really weird."


Moving On
Shrader has considered herself cancer-free since her first mastectomy in 2005. She eats right and works out — both can help reduce the risk of cancer coming back.
"I'm surviving and thriving. I'm in better shape physically than I have been in a really long time," she said. "Things that used to make you crazy before breast cancer, you don't worry about anymore."
She said women should be vigilant about the health of their breasts. If they notice lumps in their breasts or suspect a tumor, they should visit their general practitioner who can refer them to specialists.
Shrader is active in the Blue Ridge chapter of the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation, a group that promotes breast cancer awareness and lobbies for issues affecting women in Virginia.
The group sets up information tables at public events and hosts fundraisers, most recently by moving a giant pink ribbon display around the front yards of donors. Much of the proceeds go to benefit the Every Woman's Life Program, which provides free mammograms, clinical breast exams, Pap tests and pelvic exams to women with limited or no insurance.
"We're not letting cancer define us," Shrader said. "It's a part of who I am. It's a big chapter in my life, but I'm moving on."


Additional Facts

Friday, October 29, 2010

Botox helping breast cancer patients


Botox helping breast cancer patients

by Erica Heartquist
Bio | Email | Follow: @
Posted on October 29, 2010 at 7:01 AM
VANCOUVER -- A surgeon in Clark County is making headlines using Botox injections not for cosmetic purposes, but to ease muscle pain for cancer survivors after their breasts are removed.
"They'd [medical professionals would ask] say, 'On a scale of one to ten?' I'd said, 'I'm a zero.' Then they'd say, 'You're kidding?' and I'd say, 'Nope, I'm not, I'm just completely comfortable,' " said Chris Durst, 58, a breast cancer survivor.
Durst talked a lot about her low level of pain after her second go-around with reconstructive surgery. It was big change from two years prior.
Her breast was removed and at first, her body didn't heal correctly. "I felt overwhelmed; completely overwhelmed. I think of myself as a pretty centered person and I just felt like I had so many decisions to make so fast," said Durst.
She researched and found Doctor Allen Gabriel.
Gabriel and his team at Southwest Medical Group in Vancouver have been using Botox injections on patients to ease the pain of breast implants after a patient has a mastectomy.
"I tell people if I had known that it would have been this easy for me, I would have done it sooner," said Durst.
"You would hear about how patients were unhappy with their expanders; how painful and they couldn't wait to have them removed," said Doctor Gabriel.
As part of the procedure, reconstructive surgeons put expanders into the chest area right after a woman's breasts are removed to help reshape and prepare it for the breast implant while the mastectomy skin heals, Doctor Gabriel said.
Doctor Gabriel said he started hearing complaints from patients that the expanders were causing severe chest pain as they pushed against muscles in the chest. It was a pain patients described as "like a charlie horse," he said.
"As you're pressing against a very thick muscle that's very active on a daily basis, that's when the pain and discomfort occurs," said Doctor Gabriel. He started looking into Botox injections to ease the pain.
It worked. In a clinical trial of 30 women getting mastectomies with breast reconstruction, Doctor Gabriel divided patients into two groups.
One group received Botox injections in the chest muscle and the other received saline solution injections as a placebo. The group to receive the Botox injections, reported that they were more comfortable, and had much less pain after surgery than those who received placebo, said Doctor Gabriel.
"It's been very exciting to see something that we read online; thought that it was a problem and now we have a solution," said Doctor Gabriel.
As you might imagine, Botox injections are not cheap but because of a grant through Southwest Medical Group, if Doctor Gabriel does a Botox injection for reconstruction purposes, the injections are free for the patients.
"We're very fortunate at Southwest Washington Health System is sponsoring this study so they're covering the cost of all the Botox that is injected," he said.
Doctor Gabriel said his breast cancer patients are now requesting the injections. "It is important for us to remember, unfortunately we are taking away part of their femininity; that's how people look at it and [so we need to] do everything we can to support what's going to make them [the patient] happy," said Doctor Gabriel.
And that has made the process easier for patients like Chris Durst, too.
"It was important to me to move forward and for me that was what felt like moving forward; that I'd taken care of the cancer and done what I'd needed to do to get my life back on track," she said.

Hypnosis May Lessen the Pain of Cancer Treatments

 Hypnosis May Lessen the Pain of Cancer Treatments

The Beauty of Cancer Survival
You’re getting verrrrry sleeeeepy….
Did you know that 15 minutes of hypnosis is equal to 2 to 3 hours of regular sleep!
And your nausea is slowly drifting awayyyy…..
Hypnosis? Help with cancer? Some studies show it’s possible, and more are on the way.
We’re not talking about a cure, of course, but a method to help heal the side effects of treatment. Researchers in the UK, for instance, reported positive results when hypnosis was used for chemotherapy-induced nausea and vomiting, particularly on children, and suggested further research in adults.
Another study out of New York assigned over 200 patients a brief hypnosis intervention before they went through breast cancer surgery. Those who went through the hypnosis experienced less pain, nausea, and fatigue after the surgery. Hypnosis even seemed to help them feel less emotional upset. “Overall,” researchers reported, “the present data support the use of hypnosis with breast cancer surgery patients.”
More evidence: a 2001 study found that hypnotic-like methods, involving relaxation, suggestion, and distracting imagery, held the greatest promise of all behavioral interventions for pain management. And an earlier study found that patients who received hypnosis reported less pain and pain-related anxiety than did control patients.
Hypnosis has become so popular that it now goes under many different names 
such as relaxation therapy, meditation, reframing, guided imagery, 
visualization and is now gaining more and more credibility.
There are many definitions of hypnosis and hypnotherapy, each expert has his or her own theory, but in all these definitions and theories, there are common threads: -
  • It is an altered state of relaxation and focused concentration induced by suggestion
  • there is conscious/unconscious functioning…your always in control!
  • there is heightened suggestibility.
Have you ever been driving somewhere, and then you spaced out so much, when you arrived at your destination, you didn’t remember how you got there? That’s kind of like what hypnosis is. Your unconscious mind takes over, while your conscious mind skips out. Hypnosis helps access such a trance state, and then gives the unconscious mind suggestions that can help you feel better in your waking state.
If you’d like to try hypnosis as part of your cancer treatment, find someone, who you feel comfortable with who can guide you on your journey to recovery.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Survivors Credit Social Support

October 28, 2010

Survivors of breast cancer credit social support in their recovery

JOPLIN, Mo. — Beth Peacock is a 9-month survivor of breast cancer.

It hasn’t been an easy journey (goodbye, camping trips; hello, sickness). But Peacock, who is the facility and events manager for Joplin’s Memorial Hall, is determined to make life after her January diagnosis better than ever.

“It’s going to be a year that turned my life around,” she said.

Before her diagnosis, Peacock, 45, knew of no family history of breast cancer. But she had followed the American Cancer Society’s recommendations and had gotten a mammogram each year since turning 40.

One morning in January, knowing that she had an appointment with her doctor that afternoon, she did a breast self-exam and found a lump.

She underwent a lumpectomy on Jan. 27, and two days later her doctors determined the lump was cancerous. She was formally diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer.

Peacock said her first reaction to the diagnosis was one of shock.

“I have two daughters,” she said. “I immediately thought of them. It’s something they’re going to have to be concerned about for the rest of their lives as well.”

In February, Peacock had a second surgery to remove a lump that was found under her arm. She began chemotherapy treatments in April and radiation treatments in September; both are ongoing, but the end is in sight, she said.

So what happens to life after the diagnosis? It will likely be different -- a little slower, perhaps, or more complicated. But for Peacock, who joins roughly 2.5 million breast cancer survivors across the country, life does go on.

“It’s not necessarily a death sentence,” Peacock said. “Life will never, ever be normal again. We will have a new normal, but it can be just as exciting and just as full of love.”

Adjusting

Peacock admits her new life has been a struggle. She was used to being in charge of her life, which had been hijacked by her medical treatments and the side effects that they caused. Camping trips, family vacations, even working late at the office -- all had to be put on hold temporarily.

“Some of the medications I was on, I couldn’t let my feet or hands get hot, so I couldn’t help my husband do the dishes,” she said.

Support from family, friends and other cancer survivors has been vital to Peacock since her diagnosis. Of particular importance to her is Hope 4 You Breast Cancer Foundation, a Joplin-based group that provides outreach and awareness. The foundation launched Surviving Together With Hope, a support group for breast cancer survivors, earlier this year, and Peacock remembers going to its inaugural meeting.

“They took me under their wing, and they’ve just been my support through this whole thing,” she said. “We’re able to talk about drugs we were on, how it happened É It’s just so transparent that you can talk about emotions and frustration.”

Social support might be one of the most important resources for women living with breast cancer. Support from family, friends or therapy groups can reduce anxiety, distress and depression, according to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. It can also improve one’s mood, self-image and sexual satisfaction.

The foundation notes that research has not shown whether strong social support can lengthen one’s chances for survival or reduce the risk of recurrence.

Kristi Seibert, a three-year survivor and member of Surviving Together With Hope, said negativity is not an option when dealing with life after breast cancer.

“We are a very positive support group,” she said. “We are just women trying to get on with our life. We still have kids and house chores to do and all of the other normal things. Just because we have cancer, life does not stop.”

Staying positive

Seibert, of Joplin, said she has adjusted to life with breast cancer by staying grounded in her family and by continuing to exercise, which keeps her body healthy. She said she also is strong in her religious faith and involved in fundraising and awareness efforts for breast cancer.

“What keeps me going and positive is just getting out there and getting involved and getting the message out about early detection, just to be there for (survivors) with a big, fat smile on your face and say, ‘You’re going to be OK,’” she said.

Peacock is slowly but surely finding her new normal. Driven by a desire to impress upon women the importance of early detection, she has thrown herself into raising awareness of breast cancer by volunteering with Hope 4 You. She is the spokesperson of the foundation’s pink-ribbon bagel campaign this month through Panera Bread, and she has attended other local events to increase the foundation’s visibility in the community.

“By being out at all these different events and wearing the pink, it gives everybody the opportunity to come talk to us,” she said.

A self-professed lover of the outdoors, she is planning an upcoming vacation to the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone National Park. She is also working to rebuild her strength, just recently walking a 5-kilometer race in Springfield for the American Cancer Society’s “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer” fundraising event.

Peacock urges other survivors not to give up hope during their own battles with cancer.

“You’ve got to fight for your life so that when it’s all done, you have a better quality of life,” she said. “It is a little mountain to climb, and when the sun rises on the other side, it’s just phenomenal.”

Fish Oil Supplements Good Anti-Inflammatory Agent

Study Finds Promising Link Between Fish Oil, Breast Cancer

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By Lana Maciel, MD Anderson Staff Writer

FishOil.jpgDoctors have often recommended that patients take fish oil supplements to reduce the risk of heart disease. But a recent study indicates that taking this supplement, which has strong anti-inflammatory properties, may also combat the risk for breast cancer.

The Vitamins and Lifestyle (VITAL) study surveyed 35,016 post-menopausal women, from 50 to 76 years old, who had no history of breast cancer. After six years, those who reported taking fish oil supplements regularly had a 32% reduced risk for developing invasive ductal breast cancer, the most common type of breast cancer, compared with those who did not take supplements.

"This study is one of the largest studies that have come out showing that there may be a role for fish oil in the prevention of cancer, specifically breast cancer," says Lorenzo Cohen, Ph.D., professor in the departments of Behavioral Science and General Oncology and director of the Integrative Medicine Program at MD Anderson. "We know fish oil is useful in relation to cardiovascular health, and the jury is still out on whether it helps in the prevention of breast cancer, but if used appropriately, it should not be harmful."

Studying the fish oil connection
Researchers are still unsure of the direct connection between fish oil and breast cancer risk. Although some studies have not found a link between breast cancer and eating more fatty fish, it is possible that fish oil supplements have a much higher amount of omega-3 fatty acids than what is typically found in the fish itself.

Still, research on how the supplement affects various cancers continues. Peiying Yang, Ph.D., assistant professor in MD Anderson's Integrative Medicine Program, recently received a grant from the National Cancer Institute to study the effects of fish oil supplements on lung cancer risk.

"Fish oil, in general, is a very good anti-inflammatory agent, and inflammation plays an important role in cancer development," Yang says.

Although previous studies indicate there is a positive link between fish oil and reduced cancer incidence, researchers note that there is not sufficient evidence to make a public health recommendation.

"I would not recommend that people start taking fish oil specifically to prevent breast cancer because the data is just not there yet," says Bette Caan, Dr.P.H., senior research scientist at the Kaiser Permanente Northern California Division of Research. "But if they are taking it for other reasons, they should continue.

Cold Cap During Chemotherapy - Do your Research

As a breast cancer survivor and oncology nurse clincian I am supportive of the Cold Cap. We have seen many success stories with the cold cap. Please know that there are some women who do not have success with the cap,there are some women who cannot tolerate the cold, there are some drugs used for breast cancer where it is not recommended,also the process of taking care of their hair is different and may influence its overall positive outcome. It is a process to consider and to weigh all of the alternatives. I encourage all women to do their research.  Please find the article from ABC News Good Morning American that was aired this morning. Susan

Cold Cap Therapy May Help Women Undergoing Chemotherapy Keep Hair

Users Sing Its Praises, But Medical Experts Are Skeptical

By MORGAN ZALKIN

Oct. 28, 2010—

When Shirley Billigmeier was diagnosed with breast cancer this spring, she was grateful for a good prognosis and set about preparing for the life disruption that comes with undergoing a lumpectomy, radiation and chemotherapy.
"I just had a feeling that I was just going to be sick this whole time," said Billigmeier. "And my concern was that it was just gonna absolutely take me out of my life for a while."
When her doctor told her that total hair loss was an inevitable side effect of the chemotherapy, she braced herself and bought a wig, but then a friend told her about another breast cancer patient who managed to preserve her hair using a little-known approach that involves keeping the scalp very cold during chemotherapy treatments.
Billigmeier tracked down the makers of Penguin Cold Caps, designed to help chemotherapy patients keep their hair.
"[He] gives me a list of probably 10 women," said Billigmeier. "I start calling and start having some great conversations with lots of women across the United States. And the women I was talking to, they kept their hair."
Her Minneapolis oncologist, Dr. Paul Zander, was skeptical at first. He knew that early experiments in the United States in the 1980s hadn't been very promising. Still, he gave her the OK to try it. So on each day she received chemotherapy, Billigmeier put on a freshly chilled cap chilled to -22 degrees Fahrenheit every 30 minutes for seven long hours.
Billigmeier's dream team of helpers said the undertaking ended up being a welcome distraction and a bonding experience.
"It seems silly to say that chemo was this happy day," Billigmeier's friend Nancy Marshall said. "But it was this enormously positive, upbeat thing where we all knew we were helping a dear friend. We also knew we were doing something that was potentially going to help a lot of other people. So, you know, there was a lot more riding on it than just Shirley's great hair."
But would it work? After her sixth and final treatment, Billigmeier's locks were intact.
"My hair is all there," she said. "It definitely works."
No one knows how it works. One theory is that the caps may work by decreasing blood flow to the scalp, causing the blood vessels in the scalp to shrink. This, in turn, blocks the harsh chemicals in the chemotherapy from reaching the hair follicles. But the fact is no one knows exactly why some women keep their hair after using the caps.
Some doctors are worried by the lack of data on cold caps, and they fear the treatment may even do more harm than good, for some patients. Still, cold caps are experiencing a groundswell of support from a growing number of women receiving chemotherapy who say it works -- and spread the news.

Experts Warn About Serious Potential Risks

While early trials with scalp cooling showed it often was ineffective, an analysis of 53 studies showed that since 1995 research suggests the scalp cooling preserves hair in about 70 percent of patients.
But a number of doctors told ABC News they don't support the approach because of another concern.
"I don't know how well this was substantiated, but there has been concern that by blocking chemotherapy from reaching the area of the hair follicles there would be an increase in metastases of the scalp," said Dr. Mary Daly, an oncologist at the Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia.
Since there are no substantial longitudinal studies measuring such a risk, many doctors strongly discourage using the caps.
Barrie Cassileth of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York said there are two reasons she doesn't recommend the use of cold caps.
"They rarely work, if ever, for the intended purpose, and they may prevent chemo from reaching cancer cells in the head area," she said.
And Dr. Stefan Gluck, professor of medicine at the University of Miami School of Medicine, said that "[a]lthough there is a meta-analysis showing that it may be [marginally] beneficial we do not recommend it."
But despite the concerns of the medical community, cold cap therapy has generated a tremendous amount of interest among many women. The discussion boards on BreastCancer.org, a non-profit organization dedicated to giving women the latest information about breast cancer, has more than 1,500 posts related to cold cap therapy. There are dozens of pages of comments from women who are in favor of using the caps.
"[My sister's] oncologist said they don't work," wrote one woman. "[W]hat a difference a year makes because I've met with 2 oncologists at two different places and both sort of [gave] in that they do work."
"It is very promising and I hope more women would find out about this. It makes chemo not as bad if you can look yourself and feel good while you go [through] it," wrote another woman.
Dr. Anne Moore, director of the Weill Cornell Breast Center in New York, said some of her patients have made a major push for the treatment.
"So when our patients came to us -- it's certainly patient-initiated -- we perked up our ears and listened to them and see no reason not to support it," said Moore.
Moore plans to undertake a study using Penguin Cool Caps.

Research Continues

Once skeptical, Zander now embraces the caps for some patients even though he acknowledges the need for more research.
"I think that's well balanced by the people who preserve their hair and get therapy they needed rather than decline therapy and have a clear increased risk," Zander said.
New studies are planned at the University of California, San Francisco and New York-Presbyterian Weill Cornell Medical Center.
In the meantime, now cancer-free, Billigmeier has started a non-profit organization called The Rapunzel Project to raise awareness about scalp cooling and encourage additional research.

Treatment Centers Supporting Cold Cap Therapy


The following medical centers have special freezers to accommodate the caps:
 Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak, Mich.
 Minnesota Oncology, Minneapolis office
 Minnesota Oncology, St. Paul office
 University of California, San Francisco Medical Center, San Francisco
 New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical College, New York
 Fairview Southdale Oncology Center, Edina, Minn. (coming soon)
 Washington Oncology Hematology Center, Washington (coming soon)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Breaking The Silence Sexuality and Cancer

Breaking The Silence Sexuality And Cancer

When Tracy Maxwell, an entrepreneur in Denver, Colorado, who had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2006, began dating again after finishing treatment, she says she engaged in relationships that were almost entirely sexual.
“It took me three years to examine that pattern,” says Tracy, who was single at the time of diagnosis. “It wasn’t very healthy.”
Tracy, who enjoys camping, hiking, biking, and whitewater canoeing, says her body image changed after two surgeries, the removal of her right ovary, and six rounds of chemotherapy.
“When I finished treatment, I didn’t have hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. I had tons of zits and had gained weight from the steroids,” she says.
Even after her hair grew back and the blemishes cleared, Tracy says that, subconsciously, she was still trying to prove her worth by having relationships focused on sex.

A Common Issue

Tracy’s altered body image is common among survivors. Anne Katz, RN, PhD, a sexuality counselor at CancerCare Manitoba in Canada says that the cancer experience can have a profound impact on body image.
“Our body image is very closely associated with how we are seen as sexual beings,” Dr. Katz says, and yet “there’s not a lot of talk about sexuality in the oncology world.” In fact, though most serious illnesses affect sexuality in some way, sexuality counselors are not common in hospitals and cancer care centers.
Tracy Maxwell and Dr. Katz are among those who are trying to bring more attention to the sexuality issues that survivors face. Whether by traveling across North America to teach healthcare providers how to talk to their patients about sexuality, as Dr. Katz does, or by organizing canoe trips on the Colorado River for single survivors, as Tracy does, both are determined to encourage providers and patients to address this important quality-of-life issue.
“Just as we discuss the other side effects of cancer—nausea and hair loss—we need to talk about the sexual side effects,” says Dr. Katz, who has authored several books on the subject, including Sex When You’re Sick: Reclaiming Sexual Health after Illness or Injury and a handbook for healthcare providers called Breaking the Silence on Cancer and Sexuality.

An Important Conversation

Dr. Katz says that though human sexuality education at the university level was popular in the 1960s and 1970s, it’s not as common now. And healthcare providers today are often reluctant to raise the topic because they’re concerned with appearing voyeuristic or worry about encouraging questions that they won’t be able to answer. And yet, Dr. Katz says, the conversation remains critical, as patients face feelings of isolation and decreased self-esteem.
“Most patients want validation, normalization, to know they are not alone,” says Dr. Katz. To that end she encourages healthcare providers to first give the patient permission to talk about sexuality. This can be as simple as opening the door with a statement like, “You know, people who have been through [your type of illness] often have questions about sexuality. How can I help you in this regard?” As follow-up, Dr. Katz says, providers can refer patients to the appropriate expert for intensive therapy.

Finding Solutions

Sharon Bober, PhD, director of the Perini Center’s Sexual Health Program at Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, agrees that there is a lot of work that needs to be done to address the disparity between this big issue and the little attention it receives.
Dr. Bober says that cancer can leave deep scars, both literal and figurative. Depending on the illness and the treatment, side effects can range from a lack of libido to painful intercourse to erectile dysfunction to emotional distress over infertility or the loss of a body part. “From an emotional point of view, people feel terribly damaged,” she says.
And when conversations with healthcare providers about sexual side effects don’t occur, the problem is magnified: “Often women assume nothing can be done, especially if no one is talking about it.”
Dr. Bober says that there is a lot that can be done to manage symptoms, but the solutions aren’t always as readily available as they need to be. She often finds herself having conversations with patients about vaginal moisturizers, dilators, or lubricants only to ultimately have to refer them to the Internet to actually buy the products she has described. “In the [hospital’s cancer] boutique, you have 80,000 headscarves, but you can’t get lube,” Dr. Bober says.
But Dr. Bober stresses that sexual health goes beyond physical symptoms: “Sexuality is the interaction of physical health and emotional well-being.”

New Territory

For single survivors, tackling the world of dating can present new challenges in the wake of a diagnosis and treatment. Many report feeling vulnerable about their history of illness in new relationships and worry about sharing their experiences with a potential partner.
Dr. Katz says that her single patients often have questions like When do I tell? What do I tell? How do I tell? They also wonder about how to broach sensitive subjects like breast reconstruction and fertility.
In response to this common vulnerability among patient populations, several new dating Web sites have emerged that specifically cater to single survivors and those in active treatment.
One such site is called Prescription4Love.com. The site’s founder, Ricky Durham of Norcross, Georgia, says that his goal was to create a dating site that could also function as a social network for people with a wide range of illnesses. Ricky started the site after watching his brother Keith—whose Crohn’s disease necessitated a colostomy bag—endure the challenges of dating. Ricky says that Keith “was a good looking guy. He could meet girls, but he didn’t know when to tell them he had a colostomy bag.”
Ricky thought that maybe if his brother could meet a woman who also had Crohn’s disease, he might be able to enter into a relationship based on a mutual understanding of its related challenges. Keith passed away in 2004, but his story continues to serve as inspiration for the site, which now has 8,000 members worldwide diagnosed with diseases that range from herpes to diabetes to cancer.
Tracy Maxwell thinks sites like this are a good idea. “After treatment there are a lot of issues when you are single and a survivor,” she says. “Now I have scars. I probably can’t have kids. What does this mean in terms of not having found a partner by this age? Will this make it harder now that I have these black marks against me?”
Tracy says she has perused a similar site specifically for cancer survivors calledCisforcupid.com, but there were not a lot of people on it, and none in Denver. “I don’t do long-distance dating,” she says.
Dr. Bober says that, as is the case for anyone searching for a relationship, the question for survivors often becomes Where do you find a partner? The answer, she believes, is to “cast a wide net” and to avoid limiting your options. “It’s naive to think that because a person has the same illness they’ll be a match,” she says.
As far as the question of when to reveal a history of illness, Dr. Bober encourages patients to make individual choices about the timing but adds that the conversation really carries the same weight as those related to other important personal issues that you would want your partner to be aware of, including family or relationship history.

First, Know Yourself

“To enter a relationship, you have to be whole,” Dr. Katz says. “I think that before you start dating, you really have to be okay within yourself and have taken the time to mourn what you need to mourn—because you are changed. You are not the same person you were before.” To reclaim sexual health, she says, patients need to take the time to make sense of their experience and realize how they have been transformed.
And yet among the challenges that survivors face, there remain gifts. Dr. Katz says she feels humbled by the “heart-to-heart connectedness” she witnesses between couples who seek her services. In one recent session, a woman who had been sick admitted that she felt damaged and thought that her husband wouldn’t love her anymore. “He told her, ‘I love you regardless,’” says Dr. Katz. This type of unconditional love offers its own unique healing, allowing a patient to “fully realize that they are not alone.

Don't forget to "Like" Ford Warriors in Pink on Facebook

Ford Warriors in Pink We're so close to our $100,000 goal for Susan G. Komen for the Cure! Keep up the good work Warriors and continue to invite others to 'like' our page! Also, don't forget to register to win awesome prizes from fordcares.com through Ford's Be Aware, Be a Warrior, Be a Winner sweepstakes!! There's only a few days left!


http://www.facebook.com/FordWarriorsinPink

Monday, October 25, 2010

Conquer Your Doubts

Your doubts may feel strong and compelling, yet you are much stronger. After all, you have the ability to take action.Your doubts require a certain specific scenario in order to make any sense. You, however, can work your way to a whole new scenario in which those old doubts will have no validity.
Every action you take is a triumph over your doubts. Start small if you must, build up to bigger, more consequential actions, and those doubts will surely and steadily fade away.
Your doubts get all of their energy from you. And you don’t ever have to give them any more of it.
Instead, put your energy into positive, effective action. Put your energy into dreaming big, wonderful, meaningful dreams, then step forward and act to give those dreams life.
Even the biggest doubts are no match for the power of your passion. Put that passion into action, and leave your doubts behind.
– Ralph Marston

From  @JBBC on Twitter

Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer

making sense of the cancer experience